Whether you call it "tip creep" or "tipflation," it's clear that Americans are being asked to tip more and more — and they're tired of it.
Some 6 in 10 adults view tipping negatively, and 35% say things have gotten "out of control," according to a survey from Bankrate earlier this year. And it's no wonder — the burden of tipping has seemingly increasingly fallen on customers even as rising prices have stretched their budgets thin.
That makes the holidays a tricky season. It's a time when many of us want to express gratitude toward the people who make our lives easier throughout the year, often in the form of a year-end gift or gratuity.
But tipping everyone in the guides that circulate around this time of year means adding a couple dozen people to your gift budget. That's hardly realistic for anyone trying to make ends meet.
"I think everyone is going through this," says Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. "A lot of what I've been talking about this year is, how do we trim our gift list?"
It's not something you ought to feel Grinchy about. Remember, it's not within the bounds of good etiquette to overspend in the name of holiday generosity.
"Good tipping feels good for everyone involved," Daniel Post Senning, co-author of "Emily Post's Etiquette, The Centennial Edition," previously told CNBC Make It. "Tipping that takes you beyond your budget will never feel good."
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How to prioritize year-end gifts
So how can you whittle things down to where you feel comfortable?
Start by laying out a total budget, says Thomas Farley, an etiquette expert and keynote speaker known as Mister Manners.
"If you feel like, 'Gosh, I traditionally tip certain individuals, and I just can't this year,' or 'I'm feeling tapped out, and I've got limited resources,' then I think it's very important for all of us to have an honest conversation with ourselves," he says. "Sit down and figure out, first of all, how much can I afford? What is my total gratuity budget this year?"
From there, it's less about finding people to strike off your list and more about prioritizing the people you feel the most gratitude for.
One group who should be top of mind, says Gottsman, is anyone who deals directly with making your family life easier on a regular basis, such as nannies, regular babysitters and regular pet sitters or dog walkers.
"You want to remember those people who provide a loyal service to you throughout the year," she says.
And while you may want to give the people you regularly tip — such as your barber — a little something extra around the holidays, now is a great time to acknowledge people you interact with but don't regularly pay, says Farley.
"If we're triaging this, think, 'Who are the professionals I interact with the most, but who I don't ever tip?'" he says. That could be a door attendant at your apartment building or a superintendent who does regular repairs.
"You're not tipping that person on a per visit or a per service basis," Farley says. "Those people we really want to keep happy and we really want to acknowledge."
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