First male couple to wed in U.S. reflect on 20 years of marriage equality

It's been two decades since Massachusetts became the first state in the nation to recognize same-sex marriage. It was a momentous event for those who had fought and pushed for marriage equality under the law.

So much has changed for Don Picard and Robert DeBenedictis since then. What hasn't changed is their love for each other, which remains strong.

"We knew it would be important, but I didn't think it would be emotionally important. And it really was," said Picard.

On May 17, 2004, at the stroke of midnight, hundreds of marriage licenses were issued in Cambridge, for even more people to witness.

"I get down to city hall, and it's in enormous quantities of people. And and I'm like, 'There aren't that many gay people in Cambridge,'" joked Picard. "But no, it was, like, thousands of supporters … cheering."

"And as we stepped out to walk down the steps, it's like the steps weren't there. It's like I was gliding down. It was just this massive amount of loving energy," added DeBenedictis.

For Picard and DeBenedictis, it was a culmination of years fighting for a right that required changing a world view.

"I thought it was a real injustice that gay people weren't allowed to get married," said DeBenedictis. "[I said], 'I'm going to do something about it.'"

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DeBenedictis got involved in the Freedom to Marry movement. Then, 11 years after Massachusetts recognized their marriage, the U.S. Supreme Court extended that right to the nation.

"It seemed like it was pretty solid," said DeBenedictis. "And then Roe got overturned."

In 2022, a more conservative Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, leaving states to decide whether to ban abortions. It reminded many that decisions court makes are never set in stone.

"It was not a good place," said Picard about the time before gay marriage was legal. "I really don't want to go back there."

The 20th anniversary celebration of gay marriage reunited many gay couples for a celebration at Cambridge City Hall, including those who were among the first to obtain their license, like Marcia Hams and her wife, Susan Shepherd. They both shared their story so that the younger generations won't take their rights for granted.

"It's so important for everyone that comes after us, for every kid, for every family, a couple, that we share our stories, keep sharing our stories, and keep up the fight," said Hams.

"It's important to always be out and proud, and that as much progress as we've made in 20 years, it's still important," said DeBenedictis.

After all, it's the stories that make the movement.