Originally appeared on E! Online.
The toughest judge Suni Lee has faced on her road to the 2024 Olympics? Herself.
So, the gymnast has been attempting to loosen up the tight grips she has on herself.
“I have been trying to take the pressure off of myself knowing that I am doing this for myself,” Lee, who won gold at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, told E! News in June. "I’ve had to overcome so much the past two years to where I didn’t even think that I would be here."
Making the team alongside Simone Biles, Jade Carey, Jordan Chiles and Hezly Rivera was a dream for Lee, who battled a kidney issue last year. But for the 21-year-old, simply making it through training each day was the goal.
“That’s been my biggest thing,” she continued, “just focusing on what's in front of me and not what's ahead of me because otherwise I'm going to get so nervous and probably have a mental breakdown."
Indeed, concentrating on the mental gymnastics of the sport has been an important part of her routine.
"I journal, I go to therapy," the athlete added, "and that's been the biggest game changer because there was a lot of self-doubt in there and a lot of pressure and a lot of not knowing where it all stemmed from. So, to be able to talk about it, speak about it and know that it's okay to not be okay, it's a great feeling."
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Though every day isn't easy, Lee is tumbling forward toward her goals.
“There's just been so much high stress to where I don't even want to go to practice," she told E!. “But I know I have to go to practice and I'm going to kick myself at the end of the day if I didn't go."
On the tougher days, she takes inspiration from how far she's come. During the 2020 Games when Biles withdrew due to a case of the "twisties," the team rallied together to earn silver.
“I was just really proud of the way that we were able to finish the competition on the team final day,” Lee recalled. “Looking back at that still gives me chills and I still tear up."
And when she needs a confidence boost, she peeks into her closet, where her gold medal for the all-around is safely tucked away in a safe.
"I'll look at it because it does help me,” the Olympian said, noting she doesn't do it too often as it can also make her nervous and add pressure. “It's crazy to think that that happened and that I won the Olympics. It still hasn't sunk in my head. I don't know how three years later it still hasn’t.”
Heading to Paris, Lee doesn't need another medal to see how much she's accomplished (though she wouldn't say no to a repeat victory.)
"I would give myself a medal for not giving up," she noted. "There has been so much that I could have given up on and so many things that have happened to where I could have just put this aside and moved on with my life. But I wanted better for myself and I also wanted to be able to walk away from this Olympics or this squad knowing that I gave everything that I had and not regret anything."
This includes not giving up on her health journey, including eczema. Which is why Lee partnered with Eli Lilly and Company — the health equity sponsor of Team USA — to remind others with the skin condition that they are not alone.
“When I was having a flare-up and it was very noticeable, I was always trying to cover it up with my makeup, which ultimately made it worse,” she said. “But being able to talk about it and also partnering with Lilly has been something so amazing for me mentally because I feel so much more confident in my own skin."
And that right there deserves a gold medal.
